Up until recently, I never understood why two people would give up so much for each other. I made fun of couples regularly. I thought hand-holding was the most repulsive act of all time. I didn’t understand why my mom always put my dad first.
I get it now. For him, you are truly selfless. You want to give up things if it leads to his happiness. You aren’t truly happy if he’s not there – an overlying dark cloud due to his absence. Songs remind you of him. Memes (lol) remind you of him. He makes everyday activities enjoyable. He is your match, yet he is better than you. Being in his presence is an adventure of its own. You want to be your best self for him. Kinder, smarter, full of life. You care about someone that’s not you – this is a shocker in itself. He is the one that changed you forever. However, this isn’t a love story. This is a Shakespearean tragedy. Only you feel this way. This is one-sided. There is no happy ending here. This is the story of a foolish girl picturing her life with someone it will never work out with. The story of a girl pining over someone who talks to her about other girls he finds attractive. The story of a girl who might never find someone she feels this way about again.