getting back into things

Houston we have a problem. As many of you know I live in Houston, Texas and sadly Hurricane Harvey did some major damage to our city. It was shocking to watch how quickly everything changed. There I was getting adjusted to the first week of school: writing dates down in my planner, organizing my room, and stressing about homework. I remember going to the grocery store and laughing at the people who took the tropical storm too seriously. Why are you guys hoarding all the water bottles? My parents forced me to come home and I assumed I’d be there for a day or two. Never again will I laugh at a storm. You forget how powerful nature can be. I would scroll through my twitter feed only to see the roads I drove on everyday underwater. I was glued to my phone the entire time – I needed to know that everyone I loved was safe and okay. Thankfully, nothing happened to my home and I didn’t suffer firsthand. At the same time, I felt guilty for being so lucky. Survivors guilt as they say. People were going through the worst times of their lives while I was trapped at home watching Game of Thrones.

School started back up today, and it’s an eerie feeling jumping back into things as though nothing happened. That week off felt like an entire 3 months. Truthfully, I needed the time off to get my priorities in order. Being a senior is hard because you want (need) to make the most of every day! I want every day to be as fun as possible, but that’s difficult when you have 10,000 things due in class already. It’s obvious that I have major senioritis which is unfortunate because this is going to be my hardest semester. Juggling everything that life has to offer is difficult and I find myself overwhelmed and stress-crying often. Today I took the time to organize my calendar/notes app and I feel a sense of relief. When you’re organized it’s hard(er) for things to go wrong. There’s currently a ton on my plate and I continue to take on new challenges. I want to be someone who does everything with ease. I hate sitting idle in my room so I don’t mind being busy. After living with my (loud) family all summer the silence of college life truly bothers me. As much as I love living on my own it’s incredibly difficult. I’m someone who gets depressed if I spend too much time sitting in silence… I start to over-think everything that’s ever happened to me. Learning to get used to my own company again. What’s worked for me in the past is pretending that I chose to be alone. A good face mask, lighting candles, drinking hot tea, working on the blog. I’m sitting in this room because it’s me-time! Not because I have no friends willing to hang out with me at 11 pm at night! I chose this!

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