I’m someone who overthinks her life to the point of exhaustion. Something I panic over quite often is the thought of me losing touch with the one’s I love. This is a silly complaint considering there are so many people out there with no one.. but do you ever feel like you have too many friends? And not just side friends, like honest-to-god good friends in your life. I’m only 20 years old and I already have a surplus of people I want to keep around forever. Even in High School I met some wonderful people that I don’t want to lose touch with. I know one is supposed to drop everyone the second they get to college, but I value relationships above all else.
However, keeping in touch is hard freaking work. It’s pretty much up to you to decide how many times you will text someone in hopes to reconnect. Life is so busy, and catching up with old friends is usually at the bottom of the to-do list. It’s a hard summer for me as many of my friends are moving away soon. Next year everyone will be doing different things whether it be grad school, marriage, or leaving for work. How do I keep everyone in my life forever? This is the question that keeps me up at night. If I don’t make the effort to hang out the threads will start to unravel. In reality, I am a very lazy human being and going out of my way to grab lunch with anyone is a hassle. It’s so easy be friends with everyone in college as you seem them multiple times a day on campus. The true friendship test is life post college. The sad truth is that “hey let’s catch up” lunch dates don’t equate to the long nights you spent together studying or going out.
Maybe people aren’t meant to be in your life forever. Maybe you just enjoy the time you have with them while they’re still around. I’m totally the psychopath that will be in a moment knowing I will be sad over the memory later on: “oh we’re having so much fun rn I’m so happy I will look back and miss this in a year”. Maybe you’re never supposed to look back. I have a hard time accepting this, but I think it’s something that comes with growing up. Imagine what it will be like when everyone has children and is just too busy to hang out. I truly wish I could be in college forever. The thought of graduating has me on edge. I remember worrying about my senior year of HS like it was yesterday, and here I am worrying about my senior year of college. Some worries never change I guess.
On a more positive note, we haven’t even met most of the people who will change the course of our lives. Our spouse, our children, the other PTA moms, our future colleagues, potential grad school friends, etc. There’s a world out there filled with good people, you just have to be welcome to the idea of letting them in.